Smoke on the water

This month marks the 1 year anniversary of my decision to quite smoking. I smoked for 13 years, not heavily, but socially and whenever I was stressed out. No congrats in order.

Peer pressure as a kid was a bitch. Peer pressure as an adult...well, you become your own self destructive  best friend. All your real friends get a life somewhere else and move away.  You're left to work with the friend lottery wherever your life may take you.

I had just gotten out of a heartbreaking relationship. And when I say just got out, I mean a year of wallowing in my heartache...I'm human. I quit my job around the same time, so give me a break from the shit-storm that rained down on me and the 15 lbs I gained. For the last year I dated several men who for lack of my interest in the opposite sex made them horribly undesirable. Screw em. Also undesirable. 

My friend and I had been invited to a party in an attempt to get out and meet people. It was so great to get out and feel human again. I met a hilarious man who followed me outside while I lit up a cigarette... he sized me up and said, "you were so much more attractive before you lit that nasty cigarette, I'll be inside". No one had ever been that rude to me. I was insulted and I loved it! An honest opinion was something I hadn't found in a long time.  The first step to getting a decent caliber friends around me was to stop being around self destructive people. He and I became very good friends.

I quit cold turkey. The idea that smoking made me undesirable as a woman to many men made me feel dirty and unhealthy. It was like realizing the pants I was wearing made me look awkward and saggy. Toss.  Being around men that don't smoke was a huge eye opener.  Almost as if men actually had values?  The women and media in my life set many standards about what I should be looking for in a man. However, I selfishly never thought about what a good man may be looking for out of a datable woman.
Quitting was easy after I had that realization at the party.

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